Dining Out on Valentine's Day

There is no shortage of restaurants to choose from whether you are looking for love, in love, lovelorn or loveless. Pick the place. Set the mood. Pay the bill. Here’s my list. They rate on the Romance Meter from the truly torrid to not so hot.

Magnus if you’re going to pop the question

Lombardino’s if you actually look forward to Valentines Day

Restaurant Muramoto if you just got back from your Maui vacation

Samba if you’re worried there might be drama (the servers are armed)

Tornado if it’s all about the meat and bigger is better

Harvest if food is really your one-and-only

Liliana’s if the kids are home with the babysitter

Kennedy Manor Dining Room if you’re having an affair

Sardine if it’s your first date

Capitol Chophouse if you’re alone—eat at the bar and make a new friend

Café Continental if you’re gay

Fleming’s if your first three marriages failed

Del Bar if you begin every sentence “I remember when …”

Johnny Delmonico’s if you were suppose to go to Chicago but didn’t

The Icon if Overture is your next stop

Osteria Papavero if you’re single and with you best friend

Quivey’s Grove if you’re taking out your mom

Le Chardonay if you’re an afterboomer

Kushi Muramoto is you’re a twentysomething

Porto Bella if you’re just there to grope under the table

Madison Club if it’s really just an excuse to talk business

Kabul if you are a college student

Café Montmartre if you are a graduate student

Bon Appetit if you’re a confirmed eastside eccentric

La Rocca if 101 Dalmations is your favorite moive

Michael’s Frozen Custard if you like heart-shaped, “Be Mine” candies that taste like chalk

Ella’s Deli if Elmo is your heartthrob

Esquire Club if your squeeze drinks brandy old fashioned sweets and actually says “you betcha”

The Elk’s Club if you like to dine at 5

Himal Chuli if you’re broke and your girlfriend is a vegetarian

Quaker Steak & Lube if you’d rather be watching NASCAR

Essen Haus if you have a beer belly fetish and polka music turns you on

Gail Abrosius Chocolates if you’re skipping dinner and going straight to number one

Mickey’s if you’re just trying to hook up

Madison Marriot West room service if your date gets paid by the hour

Old Country Buffet if you’re trying to break up

Falbo’s Pizza if you think Valintine’s Day is stupid, a delivered pizza and your TiVo suit you just fine (but check out the delivery boy)